The Tamale Honeymoon
by HPTDillos
Summary: Bella and Edward are finally married! Where is their Honeymoon Destination? Nobody Knows...


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight or Stephenie Meyer Related  
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**Hello! This is my _first _story and that is precisely why it is so short. Also Just so you know this is being written with a friend (chapter-by-chapter) and that there will only be three chapters in this story.**

**Summary: Bella and Edward are finally married and the honeymoon destination is a secret. Where will they go? Nobody knows. ;) (Funny)**

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The Tamale Honeymoon

Chapter 1: Tamale?

**BPOV**

Wow. I couldn't believe it. I was _finally_ married to Edward. Wow. These were my thoughts as I climbed into the jet-black limo with Edward (my husband) that Alice had organized for us, much to my dismay. The wedding had been _amazing_, which had actually surprised me. And what surprises me more is that I actually _enjoy_ being married to him. Which I of course, had known, but I didn't know it feel so exhilarating.

Though I was excited to go on honeymoon (of which Edward had not yet revealed the location), but I was much more excited to become a vampire and be an equal to his god-like features. I wanted everything he had _so much_. His skin, his scent, his eyes, his family, his family and most of all, his money-I mean beauty. I was only weeks away. I sighed.

"Are you okay, love?" Edward asked me, exhilaration and concern etched into his voice.

"Are you kidding? I am ecstatic- not a trace of chagrin in me." I said reassuringly.

"Okay" He said, excitement filling his voice once again. "Are you ready to hear where we are going?"

I sucked in a gust of breath, I was so anxious to know. "Where?" I asked over-curiously.

Edward had obviously been excited to tell me where, his gold eyes were scorching. "You.Get.To.Choose."

I gasped. "Really? Wherever I want to go?" He nodded. My mind was racing. He certainly didn't know the amount of pressure he had placed on me. Where to go? Where to go? I wanted to choose somewhere acceptable that we would both enjoy. And suddenly, out of the insanity of the moment, I burst out- "Tamale!"

"What?!" He exclaimed. "Not to ruin the mood, Bella, but Tamale isn't a real place." I squeezed my eyes shut. I was such an idiot. Tamale? What the heck was I _thinking_? "Wait a moment," I opened one eye. Was he going to tell me I was insane? Probably. "So _that's why_ Alice forced me to build the world's largest tamale!"

Was he kidding? Seriously? The World's Largest Tamale? There could be no-

"Bella, were going to my house!"

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My jaw dropped. It was _huge_.

"So are we going to be living here?" I asked warily.

"Yessir Bella" He said as he walked up to the colossal tamale. What he did next shocked me. With bags in one hand, he ripped a human sized hole out of the corn husk.

"Come on in, Bella" He said, blatantly walking into the meal. Once I regained the ability to move I cautiously entered the snack.

"It's err, cozy in here" I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes well it _is _tamale" He said shrugging. "So what would you like to do, _Mrs. Cullen?_" he asked inquiringly.

"I guess I have a _few_ ideas." I said alluringly to him, as I crawled over to him on all fours, along with a devious smile on my face.

-

**EPOV**

What Bella and I had just gone through had been _glorious_. I nearly couldn't stop thinking about what we had done- _I _had done, what with me being so old-fashioned.

I knew I shouldn't have brought it. I was on my honeymoon with ye most devious wild-child ever. I pulled out my slim silver laptop slowly, careful not to wake the devious head that was laying on my **bare **(a fact that I was _very_ proud of) chest that belonged to that sweet little wild-child.

I opened the PC and clicked on the mozilla firefox icon. I patiently waited for the internet to load, enjoying the sound of my chili-covered love. When the homepage had loaded I typed in "Tamale" jokingly and gasped when I saw the second result.

Tamale was a real city. In Ghana.

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Well there is Numero Uno! Be on the look out for the second chapter which shall be up _soon! REVIEW!! _(It very greatly speeds up writing!)

- 3 Hptdillos


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